Grace - so sorry. They really do make irrational decisions.
Personally, the first question to your lawyer should be: can I take my 1/2 of all assets and put them under my name only? If you can, do it and take back the money he withdrew for house w/OW. Let him fight for this in court. If it is legal for you to do it, don’t hesitate. This protects you and your kids and saves you the worry of wondering if he is going to to buy a joint boat or take trips with her.
Maybe there is some sort of bank freeze that can be put in place but top choice is take your 1/2. If he wants to blow through his 1/2 that’s on him.
I suspect at times he realizes the impact the D will have on his finances so he wants to cake eat. He keeps you hoping things will be better while he lives off joint assets. Mine wanted us to keep pooping joint money, for him to manage it all, pay 1/2 his medical bills and part of his life insurance policy. Uh, no thanks! He is still griping about how much he has to pay me every month!
Once it game time for the d settlement he wrote in that my support would end automatically if O moved in with someone! Hah! That’s not even legal. As my lawyer said, seems he did not understand how d works.
Get on the offensive financially. If it gets redistributed by a judge then fine. But at least you are protected. No judge is going to like him spending joint assets on a place with OW. That comes out of his share.
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
