Another hard day. I do not feel detached at all. I feel very attached to wanting to do whatever I can to rebuild my M. I know it’s not where I need to be, but it’s where I am and I’m trying to be kind to myself about it. I’m thinking a lot (too much) about the balance between detachment and my personal 180s, and coming from my authentic self. It all feels at odds. I feel my H needs to see that he doesn’t need to fear me, and that I can be a friend to him. But I also have yet to succeed at any level of detachment when I treat him as a friend. It’s like my emotional floodgates open when I treat him in a cordial manner (as I have been the last few days). Perhaps if I just focus on being centered, it will fall into place.
