I guess I am still holding on to the marriage and that is why I allow her to have this power over me. I know I have got to let it go and move on with my life.
That is what she truly wants anyways. She wants me to be happy and admitted she has been hanging around hoping I would get better and not be as devastated. I feel like she is hoping I will find someone else and will eventually file for divorce once I get over it and accept it. I believe this is what happened with her best friend as well.
She has mentioned another woman in her workplace that lived with her husband for a year before he filed for divorce. I have a hard time accepting I need to wait this out due to the fact of what she has done and not being remorseful at all.
My wife is a good woman doing a bad thing. This is the only reason I want to save my marriage. She is highly respected in our community and in her job. She claims that for her to have done the things she has done in the past year that it is clear she doesn't love me. I don't think she can truly forgive herself and that is why she wants to be single. So she can start over and probably also to continue in the affair with her boss. She is a very decisive woman so I find it difficult that she will change her mind someday. She is a natural leader and generally knows what she wants and makes decisions based on those principles.
She has stated that the one night affair made her realize that she is desired and that she can find someone else. The problems in our marriage were a lot worse than I thought. She claims she now realizes she has a choice in her own happiness and her life regardless of what people think. This is her way of justifying divorce because it is highly frowned upon.
I am going to continue to follow Sandi's rules and pray for the best outcome for my family.
