Divorce because I betrayed her trust - I regret it

[DaB35]

Unchein, I'd be interested to hear why you believe it is a bad idea? My reasoning is that it focuses on her, not me, and that I'm empathising with how betrayed she feels.

CWarrior - yes that is the situatoin. However, she says she cannot forgive that because "you took a marriage vow KNOWING you were doing this behind my back. It was not a clean slate."

I did not have emotional affairs with the 2 women. It was some dirty talk and some pictures. The only non-sexual thing was one of the women said something about her dog dying and I said I was sorry to hear that. But my W beleives that I'd "formed a relationship" with them.

Our sex life was up and down really. At the beginning it was fantastic. In the last couple of years or so less frequent. My W has a few illnesses and also often feels tired, so sometimes I would be in the mood for intimacy but then she'd say "I feel really tired" so I backed off. But then I wouldn't instigate anything for weeks, because she wasn't giving anything back either. She felt like she was "doing all the work". I just think it was lack fo communication; she didn't tell me there was a problem, and my male brain thought, "Oh she hasn't brought up a problem, so there can't be an issue."

Sex with her was always great.

By 'had a go' I just mean she was annoyed at me and had a bit of a rant, nothing abusive or anything, just a telling off really. I just mis-read the measuring instructions on the blind company website. She did apologise and things were then fine.

She feels that in doing all this in secret I "preferred this life to your life with me", or I "was more attracted to the porn girls than me" or "lied to me for 8 years".