Separated and sorted #2

[unchien]

I can understand why you feel concerned with the long gap between possessions. Have you given any thought to making it Fri-Mon and then getting them on Mon of the next week? Or at the least getting time with them for a couple of hours for dinner on a weekday in the week that you don't have them?

I like the dinner idea, need to see how we settle into the school year activities here.

Regarding the custody time, what does your attorney say about your chances if you do go to court? If you try to change their routine after several months it may actually be more disruptive for them than trying to establish a new routine now that works long term?

I won't lie this is an emotional trigger for me. I have not retained an attorney but I did have a consult. As long as I establish a pattern of regular overnights, she was not concerned. I am aware I may end up in a costly custody court battle down the road.

I'm really happy I avoided a court battle just to get to this point.

My W works in the mental health field. She is a smart cookie. If she truly felt abused and terrified, she would have filed an RO and filed for D. She *knows* she is bringing individual trust issues into this.

This seems like a red flag to me. Is your attorney aware of this?

Aware of the abuse talk? Yes.

I now have a regular established patterns of overnights. There has never been an allegation filed (no police, no CPS, and this has been discussed in front of at least 3 mandatory reporters who have all not reported anything). It would be challenging for my W to argue I should not have access to the children. "But you left them with your scary H for 4 nights at a time, you let him take them on a road trip by himself, you never filed any reports or called the police, etc." In fact, it's only good that I continue with limbo for a little while, and my W gets ramping up work (which she is really dragging her feet on unfortunately).

I don't see my W as using this as a card to play btw. My point was that she is strong-willed and if she wanted to file a report she would have no qualms doing so. She didn't.

Honestly the only thing I worry about is having to battle for 50-50 later. The attorney did not seem concerned. My position is I would want 50-50 in 2 years when D3 enters school. It is a reasonable position. I know this may cost a lot of money. So be it.

So just to be clear... I am not legally concerned about the abuse talk. I'm more concerned that my situation is a hopeless one or even an unhealthy one for me, that I should not be trying to bust this divorce.