My W does not come across as overly emotional or triggered in her texts, it is just the volume that is my issue. And emails as well. If anything I could say that I am somewhat triggered by the volume, LOL. I really want to keep the level and frequency of communication to a minimum, while understanding that yes we do need to communicate on kids stuff.
We already have a 50-50 custody agreement but it is very general because we can not agree on who gets what days. We have been handling it on the fly because of summer schedules, but once school starts I want a set schedule. We have a court date in September so I need to get papers together for that, and I will be requesting my preferred schedule. We'll see if we can reach an agreement before then...
I took a few weeks off the self-improvement podcast/YouTube circuit but have gotten back into it the past few days and it's been good for my head. Even though a lot of the advice is stuff I know and already practice, it's still good to hear it and reinforce that I am on the right track. I find myself more open these days to acknowledge and work on my weak spots. It reminds me of a professor I once had who analogized learning with physical workouts. He said there is a tendency for people to keep working out the same muscle groups in the same way because that is where they are strongest and they have a history of success and familiarity - like the guys who focus on chest and arms in the gym and ignore legs. So they end up with chicken legs and a big upper body, an unbalanced body. This professor said to focus on your legs aka focus on your weak spots, don't neglect them.
I am craving intimacy. W, even when things were good, is not a particularly affectionate person. She also repelled me with her criticisms and snide commentary, so there was a chasm between us. I have a tremendous connection with friends and family but have missed and am missing a romantic connection. I am taking my time with it and have not really taken any steps toward romance with anyone yet, and when I do it's going to be slow going. I do think about it, what it's going to be like, how I'm going to feel. I'm pretty excited about what could be in store for me. I wonder what it's going to be like "out there". It's going to be an adventure.
