Well she wanted to sit down and talk and I couldn't get away before it got heavy. She is wanting out of the marriage and wants to make plans to slowly dissolve our relationship.
Whenever she forces these R talks on you just listen and validate but STAND YOUR GROUND.
"I want out of the marriage and we need to make plans to dissolve things."
"I understand you want to end things, it's not what I want but I will not stand in your way."
"I am very busy at work so can I count on you to take care of this?"
"No, this is not what I want and I will not help. But I will not try to stop you."
"How dare you not lift a finger to help blah blah blah rant rant rant!"
"This must be very difficult for you, I am sorry you are struggling."
"So you will help me then? You will do the paperwork?"
"No."
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She is so preoccupied with work she doesn't have the time to do any of the work needed to file or put it into motion. I guess I just need to continue to detach and try to slow things down. If this goes through I would end up having to do all the work.
Nope, you do not need to lift a finger. She wants a D but she's too busy? Her problem.
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A lot of her attitude this weekend was that of resentment. I'm afraid the longer I hang around the more she will grow in hate toward me and we wouldn't be able to be cordial through all of this. She feels like she is being trapped if I don't move on.
She's trapped in a prison of her own making. You didn't force her to get married and you are not forcing her to stay in the M. She is free to leave whenever she wants, she is free to file for divorce, she's free to do what she wants. THAT DOES NOT MEAN SHE IS FREE TO MAKE YOU DO ALL THE WORK!
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My question is if I detach and avoid her pretty much completely will she end up hating me and having resentment toward me which will lead to a messy divorce.
She's just got resentment in her heart right now and she's blaming it all on you. Detachment and leaving her alone is the ONLY thing you can do that will help.
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I don't want them to see her hateful or angry toward me. I knew detaching would make her angry.
ANYTHING will make her angry right now. Pursue her, don't pursue her, help her, don't help her, it all makes her mad. Detach for YOU. Leave her to her roller coaster ride.
