Still here. Still not detached... (Part 4)

[Chris73]

Advice needed...

Last night, after a long (fun) day at the pool with my kids, I drove them to their mom's house to drop them off for the night... each kid had a friend with them so four kids total in the car. She knew we were coming and we agreed that it would be sometime after 8pm.

So it's 8:30 and we're about 5 miles from her house when I get a txt from her: "I'm home now so you can come over any time, just let me know when you're on your way". I didn't respond because I don't txt and drive and since we were so close to her house, I didn't think it mattered.

We pull up at the house and OM's car is in the driveway. My son says, "(OM's name) is here"... not in a "ut oh" sort of way, just matter-of-factly.

I put on my game face. This will be the first time we've been in each other's company.

I walk in the house, the kids scatter, the (new) dog goes crazy. OM is sitting on the couch. Ex says, "Chris, this is (OM)." I say something like, "Hey, how you doing?" he says the same. Our eyes don't meet. He doesn't get off the couch. I don't approach him.

I continue filling EX in on the details of the weekend... who showered when, what they packed, plans for the week, etc.

Soon after, I turn to leave. My kids kiss/hug me goodbye. I say goodbye to the 2 friends. Then I blurt out "(OM) nice meeting you." He says something similar and I leave.

It was hard, but time is the great equalizer. If this had happened 2 years ago, I would have been a total mess.

Anyway, about an hour after I got home, I get a txt from me EX (verbatim):

"...I didn't mean to surprise you with (OM) here. That's why I asked you to let me know when you were on your way, he was going to leave for a bit so not to make things uncomfortable for you."

I struggled for almost an hour trying to decide how to respond to this.

Here are the things that bother me about this text:

1. It seems like she's putting the blame of the uncomfortable situation on me because I didn't let her know I was on my way

2. I think the whole idea of OM "leaving for a bit" is so patronizing. Does she really think that I'm the only one who would be uncomfortable with an impromptu meeting? I feel like I'm being cast as the emotionally unstable wuss that everyone else has to tiptoe around.

3. Why txt me at all with this? Sure it was uncomfortable... and not just for me. But it happened. The ice is broken. Let's move on with our lives.

In the end I didn't respond at all. I couldn't think of any appropriate reply. Although sometimes no reply at all speaks volumes.

What do you all think?