I started reading your thread as far back as it goes, and so much of the NGS stuff you mention about your H reminds me of mine. I spent so long begging him to tell me what he wanted and how he felt in our M. I never got much from him, and then when he BD’d me it was largely because he wanted to be free to be himself, I was controlling and never let him have a say, etc. Anyway, I can across a few mentions in your thread whee you say that you didn’t really start truly BD’ing until the end. I’ve been trying to BD since I discovered it, but I’ve had a lot of slip ups and poor reactions when I get impatient and triggered. Now I’m trying to really and truly stick to it, so I can get strong and detach myself emotionally. I know it’s kind of a silly question, but I wanted to ask what did it really look like when you truly started to DB? What were you doh g that you hadn’t done before? Where on the spectrum of cordial/distant did you tend to fall in your interactions with your H? I know everyone and every sitch is different, but I also feel like I could use some specific guidelines to model by DB after, so that I can be consistent and be sure that I’m in fact walking the walk. It’s worth a try!
