Thanks again for being here. It's only been 2 months since BD#2. I think i have it sort of together and then I fall apart again. So many questions, and so few answers. I just know he's getting farther and farther away. I know from reading everyone's threads that the drifting away is what happens/what needs to happen. It's just so incredibly painful to have all our years gone without any effort on his part. I know I shouldn't be looking for logic, but it's just that I've been rejected for some nebulous dream of his. I'm bracing myself for him finding a PA. I don't think that's happened yet, but it's probably coming, right? All his nice words about "needing space" and "trying to find a path back" were just that, words.
Now that he's finally coming face to face with our financial picture, which I have been trying to deal with and talk to him about for 6 years-I feel like this will be another black mark against me. He won't be able to see what his contribution was to this at all. All I heard about last time was how I "wouldn't let him buy another snowmobile or build a cabin at the property"....it all just feels so unfair. Ha but nothing is fair is it?
I'm sure once financing is sorted out, he'll be moving out for good. I know i said I was done, and Job, I think it was you that said "it's not over". Words of wisdom for sure. I am simultaneously sad/wishful/hopeful/aching.
New counsellor on the 27th. (last one not covered by my benefits). I'm not even sure what I want to deal with. So much loss in my life the past few years. She's pro-marriage, pro-short term goal directed therapy, which at one point he said he was interested in trying. Then he said "but it's all artificial" so no.
Peacetoday-I will hang in. I just miss him so much. I never thought I was this needy a person. I want the man I married back, my best friend. I want to rebuild our marriage stronger and better. But....I know I need to build myself stronger and better.
I am blabbing away now.
Me: 57 H:60 Married: 25 yrs DB #1 June 4/19 "I love you forever" June 14/19 DB#2: June 19/19 ILYBINILWY
It's time to start a new thread. Your thread has reached the 100 posting/reply limit. If you aren't sure how to link your threads, I'll be happy to assist you in the linking process.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Yes, start a new one first. Here is the link that will explain how to link threads. If you aren't sure, just start a new thread and I'll link them both for you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
