Gerda's Prayer Takes the Form of Angels

[DnJ]

Hello Gerda

A walk on the beach in moonlight - that sounds lovely.

“About the rest”...

It is interesting that you didn’t (don’t ?) believe me. I do understand the temporary inability for one to see their accomplishments and accept positive feedback. And yes the low confidence level, I remember that well.

I’ve been in the ocean of non-confidence, sunk low in the numbing waters, skin wrinkled with exposure, like too much time in the tub. I felt like a fraud. My confidence with my skills at work were very low, even with other’s positive comments about them. My parenting felt fraudulent as well. It was difficult to see my way out of that.

Rise out of the water and let the drops fall upon the beach.

...I noticed that I did not believe you. I was thinking that either I must have sounded terrible before, and this seemed almost humiliating, or that you were just trying to be supportive and that it wasn't true! I could not actually take it at face value.

I am supportive of you. I believe being untrue isn’t being supportive.

Please don’t feel humiliated, you didn’t sound terrible before - you just sound better and better.

When I look back at my thinking and feelings I just have to laugh at myself. Yes, it is a bit humiliating - at first. Then I accept where I was and how messed up and hurt I was. Oh, the things I thought and believed. Lol.

Gerda, you have nothing to be humiliated for! Just look at what you’ve live through, struggled through, and still shined in spite of it all. Rise up, you’ve earned it.

...when someone says, "you look pretty," we want to explain all the things that are in fact not pretty

You know the big stop sign the MWD talks about? Use it here. Accept that you are not what your H projects, not even close.

Gerda, I’ve read your posts for quite a while. Even between the lines. I think I know you fairly well, the person on the other side of this screen. The inner you.

You are pretty.

And don’t give me a list of how you aren’t. Or a list to yourself either. Make a list of how you are.

- - - -

We are sitting again just two enjoying a drink and snack. In person would definitely cut down the lag time between our responses.

I am sorry for how burdened you feel regarding what’s happened to S14 and the events unfolding.

I am dreading the present times with him and I am dreading the future outcomes.

Dreading.

I hope you know I’m here for you, if you want to share whatever fears you at this moment feel you can. Honestly, getting them out in the open does lessen their power and hold considerably. Fear doesn’t survive well in the light.


Stand on the beach, droplets dripping and running down your skin. The numb waters shedding their hold upon you. In time the light will invigorate and warm you, all the way to your insides. Your confidence will build and return, affecting all aspects of your life.

DnJ