I am getting fairly frequent (every other day) texts from W about kid logistic stuff and I can't tell you how weary I am getting. W is very high strung and anxious and it's always something. I am keeping my responses very short but I can't ignore the kid stuff. I know my mindset is not yet where it needs to be because I just don't like the feeling when I see W's number pop up on my phone. I would prefer much less contact.
My W is also high strung and controlling. I have an ominous ringtone for my W's texts just so I don't get anxious when other texts arrive. (It also provides me a little dark humor).
We are experimenting with a weekly call to hash out what we can, and then texts for logistics only. There are pro's and con's. The calls are definitely a healthier way to communicate, but by the end I am completely spent. It does help put off non-critical items that we can discuss all at one time.
I'd say just hang in there and be consistent. Over time hopefully your W will adjust and tone it down - people tend to mirror moods. We are almost 2 months in now, there are microscopic movements towards healthier communication. My W has shown some glimmers of awareness about her mind-reading and emotional reasoning. It's still a daily struggle to navigate the minefield of communicating.
Is she getting triggered emotionally a lot on text messages? Or is she just high strung and texting a lot about minor stuff?
Originally Posted by Gekko
W just took the kids on a vacation and I am doing the same soon. I'm excited to get on a plane with just the kids and me and to be able to run the whole vacation itinerary myself. W has control and micro-management issues and it will be nice to be free of that on a vacation.
Yes! You are going to love this part. I just did this 2 weeks ago. All the complaining about how hard it was to plan a vacation and keep track of the kids clothes and meals etc... I loved being in complete control, it was a big confidence boost for my ability to be a single dad going forward. Memories that I will never forget.
Originally Posted by Gekko
The biggest looming thing on the horizon is setting a firm custody schedule. I will keep the board posted on how that goes, I am certain there are going to be some choppy waters on that topic.
Where are you at today regarding custody? Are you targeting 50-50?
I think you have the right mindset taking it slow right now. When I moved out I went a little overboard the first few weeks and wore myself out, now I'm recalibrating.
