Keep in mind we advocate loving detachment here. The "loving" piece is often missing when we talk about detachment, which often leads to misinterpreting detachment as "not caring."
Loving detachment means adopting an empathic stance, while also not having your moods tethered to your spouse.
"Not caring" is perhaps a useful short-term strategy, but long-term the key to detachment is being more in touch with your own emotions and moods. Find your center. This may feel like not caring -- in actuality it is the most loving, caring thing you can do. Move your focus from your W's moods to your own moods.
You are asking questions about falling out of love, and whether this hurts your relationship. Those are outcome-focused questions, they carry expectations. Focus on the process. Let go of expectations.
