Why? I mean this seriously... why do you always respond?
Originally Posted by crdcheck
if someone invites me in to see their home I join, regardless of relationship
Stranger danger!
I detect a little NG behavior here... stop worrying about how anybody interprets what you do (not just your W). Are you self-identifying as a nice person? Do you want others to see you as nice? It's okay to be nice, but don't be doing it because you value niceness.
Ultimately, how can you expect your W to change if you aren't willing to change? That's what stepping back is all about. Give her the space. If you have to think of it this way, think of it as you granting your W a gift. The gift of time and space to figure out what she wants. She can't figure that out while you're acting like friends (unless being friends is what you'd like to be).
You will get blowback from her. I'm telling you... that's what it's going to take for any change to happen anyways. You can't nice her back.
