Is it too late.. divorce pending?

[unchien]

I feel torn, like I did the wrong thing

I think it's normal to feel guilty when standing up for yourself, especially if it doesn't come naturally.

but also that hopefully this will put things into perspective for him + the kids.

Ignore any expectation of the outcome with your H. It will help you detach (and also help with the guilt).

The more you can find your own center, and ignore what he is thinking or how he will react, the more confident you will be and the easier this will all become. Obviously you can choose whether and how to take his needs into account. And note that none of that necessarily means you are creating conflict. You may find yourself making decisions that align with your H's needs, but they are coming from your own center and your own values.

Personally I think it's healthier for the kids to see the change. It would be more confusing for them to see you two in the same house.

The validation is nice! Thank you!!

Haha yeah just paying it forward. This forum pulled me out of a dark place a few months back.