Kind of a rough week. My own fault. Phone records. But they don’t lie.
H is having lunch with the kids today. I want to text him “Are you going to share your new living arrangements with your girlfriend with the kids?” But I won’t.
I want to tell H that he is a coward for seeing me face to face, stating he doesn’t know what he will do, and then all along make plans to do what he’s already decided. But I won’t.
I want to tell H he’s a j***a*** for making backhanded apologies that aren’t really apologies but excuses. Stupid ones at that. But I won’t.
I want a real apology for all he’s done. And he’s done plenty. I don’t think I will ever get one.
I want to ask to meet to pin him down to say it to me face to face what he is planning. I know it’s useless. Besides. These are his plans. He should be the one informing those it will affect.
So many questions. Will he file for D? Should I file for D? Should I ask him to file for D? Is it best for no one to do it now? If I don’t, am I condoning H’s relationship with OW? Too many questions. I won’t be in a big rush. I have to let my emotions settle down.
I’m angry. I’m sad. I’m anxious.
But I also have plenty of times I’m happy, joyful. Content.
I have plans for happy hour with a girlfriend tonight.
Invited to dinner with a few gals at someone’s home tomorrow.
Meeting up with a close couple’s friend Sunday. Have the kids until Wednesday, then off to see my family out of state for 5 days.
I’ll come back to a new life potentially. Maybe not a new life, but different perspective. H will probably be moving out some things at the end of the month. I perhaps will insist he does.
Life in transition. I will try to embrace it. It’s useless to fight it.
