I've just skimmed read through your thread, so apologies if I missed anything.
Firstly, you seem much more confident than you were before. I think you now know that you will be OK no matter what happens. When we start, none of us cannot see past a future without our spouses. We all say we can, but we don't really mean it. You also seem to be willing to take less sh!t from him. Before you were full of excuses, he's under a lot of pressure, he's really busy, he's going through some stuff (I'm paraphrasing), but now, you are putting the responsibility for his behaviour on him. That's a pretty significant change in mindset. You don't need to hear it from me, but you're going to be OK.
In regards to your last few posts. It's great that he recognises the need to work on himself and is seeing an IC. But introspection (particularly for people who are not good with taking responsibility for their actions) is a long and painful process. It takes strength to peel away the layers and face your demons. I am guessing he will at times go into himself at other times he will be emotionally needy and at other times he will lash out. Whether you have the strength to wait it out while he does this is up to you. To be honest, all you need to be is to be there (without demanding that you be part of his healing). Validate but don't allow yourself to be the fall guy. You'll either get tired of being his emotional crutch or he'll come round.
Unchien is right. He still occupies too much of your head. Even though your allowing him to be responsible for his actions, you [i] still [i] focus your attention too much on his actions. This is OK by the way, but it would be better if his actions spurred something in you instead of just on him.
Let go of the question of how you move forward and just be. Or, to give another zen-like paradox, the answers will come when you stop asking the question
Oh, well done for making sure he stays out of your home. This is one I am still having problems with (urghh).
