2x4 - it's time to work on your conflict avoidance. The instinct to write a letter is a maladaptive coping mechanism that is holding back all of your relationships. Writing letters is conflict avoidance. It is not healthy for your MR, or any relationship for that matter.
Unchien, I believe you're right it being conflict avoidance. I never thought of it that way.
Originally Posted by unchien
Let me guess: When you and your W have conflict, in the heat of the moment, she starts talking, and your mind is racing. You are trying to listen to her, and you start to feel overwhelmed and your brain locks up. You start to feel like your truth carries less weight than hers. After the fact you are frustrated and perhaps angry about this. You want to go back and fix it.
This seems to be the way our arguments would go in the past. I do have more to work on with myself than I first thought.
