Are you educated about your financial rights in the state you live in, should your W decide to leave?
I might be misreading your post, but it sounds like part of your fear is related to not understanding fully how that scenario would play out. If so, I'd suggest rather than going to your W first, educate yourself on the process so you understand how the various scenarios might play out.
This might mean getting a consult from a L or FA. Many offer free 30-60 minute consults. Obviously if you choose this path I would recommend discretion.
