Mine initially cut off all initimacy too right after BD. I went from a husband with an OK sex life, to a friend! We were marriend 16 years and man, it just makes no sense. We havent had a single marital counseling session.
Mine has yet to admit to a PA, but I have strong suspicions that's going on too. I loved the statements on two train wrecks coming together. Limerence doesn't last and what they have together has no foundation.
I've learned so much about the man and husband I want to be going forward. Sounds like you have too!
I believe that's how most of us are when the BD happens. Non existent intimacy. My thoughts were the same, I had suspicions but just didn't want to believe it and it turned out to be true.
I am glad you are starting to focus on yourself. Grow to be the person you are, a strong individual with confidence and life continues on with or without the other half. There will be ups and down moments as I thought I was good until we met up for my D orientation but I'll get over it.
Stay busy, pick up new hobbies....I was never into sports really but my friend just invited me to a soccer game, sounds like a lot of fun and never been to one. It will be exciting!
Originally Posted by SoTorn
Same with my EXWW. She cut off all intimacy on BD. It was so friggin weird watching her act like I was a stranger. She would make sure I never saw her naked or with anything less than a bath robe on. It was like a light switch.
I remember the day my EXWW dedicated herself completely to OM. She flew out to see him under the guise of work. I picked her up from the airport and I tried to hug and kiss her. Man she freaked out like if I were some stranger.
That was before I was DBing and after BD. Then the lies got blatent and the A got very obvious. So I hired a PI and got it all on record. Even with proof she still lied. "I only stayed in his room because he was really sick" suuuurree. Friggin NPD liar. Glad im done with her.
Mine was the same SoTorn after the BD. Well, there was a few times I think she got dressed on purpose in front of me to see my reaction. I read it here a lot, the spouse who walks away rewrites history and all they see is the bad, tries to validate everything with the blame game.
