Moving on to the Brightside Part 29

[AndrewP]

It's been a while since we hi-jacked J9's thread so I'm going to chime in here too.

Picking your brain here........

She clearly is not playing hard to get, tries to spend all the time she can in the world with you, wants your girls to have sleepovers at her house ( prepping them for moving in?) sounds like a very giving person all about you all the time.

And this is a turn on? Doesn’t deter you at all?

Reading “why men love b!tches” and I am probably a lot like your doctor in the way I treat my man, but probably a tiny less. But really, neither of us are “bitches”.

So her turning it all the way up makes you want to come closer and not farther?

The corollary of this is "why do nice guys finish last" or "why do women prefer bad boys". As somebody who seems to be in the "nice guy but" category I feel qualified to weigh in here.

For me, I'm extremely flattered when any woman shows interest in me and as we have I'm sure talked about in the past, I am vulnerable - perhaps in a good way - to any woman who pursues. If they then play coy and hard to get then that's confusing for me and certainly not attractive.

If a woman were to come up to me and tell me - "you're fascinating - have a slice of pizza" I would be immediately smitten. If she then listened to my long boring stories and followed it with "tell me more about how oxalic acid interacts with various materials" I'd probably propose marriage. My ex was really good at this. In fact it was one of the things I first loved about her. How she paid attention and remembered.

I know that there's been talk here on Channel J9 about "the coach" and various rules and techniques for being "alpha" and attracting a "quality" mate. Personally I regard most of that as a combination of BS and stuff that I'm not interested in.

I do think though too that there is a difference between when you are "just dating" and "in a relationship" You and M are transitioning through that. I do know though that my ex-wife, for our entire marriage made sure that I never left the door without a hug, kiss and ILU. She was somewhat jealous and certainly possessive, especially after she started her affair. I "never" doubted that she loved me - even after she chose another man though. Having that certainty behind me was in many ways the rock of my personal self identity.

Now - obviously every relationship and every person is different. What I like, what J9 likes and what M likes are undoubtedly very different things. I do know that when I was dating B - the fact that she wasn't available was more a frustration than anything that attracted me to her. I was most attracted when she was "present". I would have been even more attracted if I knew she was "all in" - but that never happened.

Just my 2 cents. We now return to the story of J9 and his doctor.