Ultimately I think this is about getting in touch with your values and your needs, seeing them as equally valid as anybody else's, feeling secure, and then handling conflict starts to become second nature.
A conversation I had backpacking with my partner.
Me, stops to enjoy the sound of a waterfall. Her, wants to continue Her: You always choose the pace. I feel like you're controlling us, you're holding the trip hostage. Me: You're free to go ahead. I'll catch up. I control me. You control you. Her: But I want to hike with you. Me: I gotta do me. You gotta do you.
This simultaneously asserted my control over me while making no attempts to control her.
Originally Posted by "OverRainbow"
GAL GAL GAL!!!! When I didn't know what else to do I'd go to Main St in St Charles and run and run and run and look at the pretty river and pretty girls and read a book and get good food and just soak up life.
Rick, GAL and Detach help immensely. My happiness jumped from 5's to 8's. I went salsa dancing last night. I'm doing martial arts today. I went backpacking this weekend. Each time I thought of ending my relationship, I asked, "What would I do next?" The answer usually was something other than Tinder. That helped me find the patience to wait and see where my sitch would end up, and improved the outcome.
Originally Posted by "OverRainbow"
And then of course I'd go home and hurt again, but still.
It may feel fake or challenging at first, and there will be low moments.
Of course, you do you. If you feel your life would be better without her--take some time--then go for it.
