I agree with Sandi's comments that there needs to be a period after S that is business-only. Minimal contact, little interaction. She invites you inside you politely decline. She sends you texts you don't reply unless it's something kid or finance related. There needs to be an adjustment period where both of you get used to being "unmarried". Don't be mean or cold, just detached. After my S every time I would go to the gym they would play that song "now you're just somebody that I used to know." THAT should be your attitude, as difficult as it may be.
As far as "keeping the way home paved and smooth", that doesn't mean to be her bestie. It doesn't mean be out there paving and repaving and paving again every day, what it means is you don't set up any roadblocks and you don't dig any potholes. See the difference? You're not actively trying to pursue or pull her back in, but you're also not doing anything to sabotage a future recon. Don't be mean, don't pick fights, don't be catty, don't talk to her friends and relatives about how "crazy" she is. Just live your life and let her live hers. Most recons I've seen come after a long, quiet period of little to no interaction.
