The rules and FITYMI are great. They are concrete things to do amid the swirl of emotions.
Long-term it's all about getting a handle on our own emotions. Then detachment and the DB rules should come naturally (for the most part).
Example:
Old way: I just got triggered, my anxiety and anger are at 8/10. I would like to reduce them to a 5/10.
New way: I just got triggered, my anxiety and anger are at 8/10. That means I'm going to feel my heartbeat racing, blood rush to my head, and I'll get fidgety. It will subside at some point.
Does that make sense? I struggle to explain what I am trying to say.
