I am not pursuing her I am in no contact mode. I am not desperate in her presence or outside it. I just know what I want
Her opinion of me is not as low as you seem to assume
I am seeking clarification on a number of issues because I don't want to make gross blunders
I suspect she may contact me during no contact and I want to respond well
From what I'm hearing the following principles always apply:
She's got to think she's lost me before she'll want me
It'll take too long to be worth it
My situation is as bad as everybody else's
shortcuts like grand gestures are always a bad idea
All optimism is misplaced
I will not wait for ever for her to return but I don't have the need to seek other options for the moment. I still see some hope that she will be back because I offer a good chance of happiness for both of us. In our long time together we have not lost all attraction. Recently( after I cut the booze ) we have communicated better than ever. She decided to Pursue OM before I cut the booze. That is why I still harbour some hope.
Now divorced, boys grown up. Now in new failed relationship( never again, please )
