"In summary it was like lighting a firework without a label - who knows what might happen. I can't see a case for you doing it."
I realize this while after thinking about it for a while. I know that it would only make matters a lot worse and I have got to detach from my wife.
We talked last night about deep feelings and I should have cut it off once she headed in that direction. She claims she is trying to sort herself out and how she wants to live her life. She claims she will make that choice based on how she has grown as a person and that no one or anything will dictate that for her. She claims she hates that I am hurting but she can't really control that. The icing on the cake was when she said she had "outgrown me" Those were her exact words. I smiled and said well I am catching up with my own growth. The fact is I know she doesn't love me anymore. You have remorse when betraying or hurting people you love. She is caught up and has rationalized her wrong doings by telling herself these things. I have a hard time forgiving what she has done especially since she shows no remorse for what she has done.
I think healing and moving on would be easier with full disclosure. For us men, it is harder to detach because we are not use to talking about emotions with our friends. Most of our friends are just buddies that we play golf with and at 41 years old they all have families.
Joejoe1 - Sounds like your marriage ended up being reconciled and restored. If that is the case I am happy for you and your children.
