U—I wish I could say that I’ve even received a shame based apology from him, let alone a truly remorseful one. I could count on one hand the amount of apologies I’ve received from him in the 9 years we’ve been together. Almost all of them were rescinded shortly after delivery. He believes that he is just an easy going guy and that I’m a monster who ruined his left. He has zero accountability.
I’m feeling really emotional and angry today. I’m feeling really resentful that he tried to act like we are just two friends and that everything is ok. It hurts and it makes me really mad. The last time we argued, my H tried to argue with me about how long we’ve been together, how long we were engaged before we got married...as if I don’t know?! It feels like he is trying to minimize our marriage and our life together to assuage his guilt and make it all seem disposable. It’s so insulting. And then he wants to be all “how was your day? It’s good to see you” when he picks up D3. It makes it really hard (impossible so far) to behave the way I would like to in his presence. And then I feel mad at myself.
