Interesting view LH. Actually she is not cheating on me - she has dumped me. And I can understand why given my past behaviour. It is since then that I have woken up to what I want and have made changes that would have avoided the issue. Now I want her back. She is in no doubt about my strength and nor am I and we are the only 2 people who matter in that regard. If I had followed Will Smith's advice "Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard" she'd still be with me.
My question is when is a grand gesture a good idea? I haven't seen them advocated anywhere on the site. And what other sort of gesture might be appropriate?

If anything she is cheating on OM and I haven't seen a romcom in years.

Now divorced, boys grown up. Now in new failed relationship( never again, please )