Thanks AS, More food for thought. Of course for us the S has happened and there is no D. So the effect of S is that we no longer sleep together and we are no longer seen as an item. OM is carrying the baggage of a 48 year marriage and he has told her that he would be back with his wife like a shot if he could. His outstanding qualities, as described in her laundry list include
  • carrying the shopping
  • saying "after you"
  • being tidy in his dressing up
  • he wants her to help him choose his new sofas

To be fair he's a nice guy who has gone through the mill with his marriage but I don't see this competing with the new me she saw before she left. Of course the old me lacked a lot. She made the decision to leave before my transformation and she doesn't change her mind easily. Does this context affect your view at all?

Last edited by Family Man; 08/14/19 12:05 PM.
Now divorced, boys grown up. Now in new failed relationship( never again, please )