Interesting Alison, I'm also a bloke and people seem to get a different impression about me from what I know is going on inside. The ploys we advocate on this site often require that we present an image of detachment when we hurt like hell inside. Acting as if is priming oneself to behave in a way we are not quite ready for. That is tiring and second guessing whether his latest change has been understood as he would like is emotionally draining. It seems like you are in charge here( even if he doesn't know it ) and I believe you may be able to help him stay focussed on the changes you want to see with small signs of approval. But don't micro manage him. As regards his priorities - his counsellor would have told him that he needs to get himself into a resourceful state before he embarks implementing meaningful relationship changes. He is following a plan and that has to be positive as long as it's a good one.
Now divorced, boys grown up. Now in new failed relationship( never again, please )
