Thanks AS, By "understanding her" I don't mean her current confusion, I mean when we are in a normal relationship. I think I'm lucky that she hasn't been unpleasant and seems to enjoy my company - hence the alarm bells when you mentioned plan B. I've told her several times that I understand parts of her psyche better than she does and she's never denied it.

I tried to do everything I could to assure her of my sincerity before going dark - some of it was really enjoyable and therapeutic in developing me. Now I see the benefit in no contact - she has a lot to think about.

Did you read the previous post about the golf weekend? I'd really like your views on that.

Now divorced, boys grown up. Now in new failed relationship( never again, please )