I'm spending some time trying to recalibrate after yesterday, and focus on what's important.
I appreciate the honesty my W brought to MC yesterday. She is not ready to work on the MR.
She admitted she has individual issues to work on in IC, and lately her IC sessions have focused on separation issues (child safety, etc.) rather than personal work. She wants to focus on herself again and processing what happened in our MR. She said she's not ready to share her feelings about what happened prior to our separation - in particular when I pulled the car over in March and she feared for her life.
I don't feel as blamed as I did 2 months ago. I did things I regret. Whether they should be called abuse I don't know, but I know I am changing into a person who would not make those same decisions (like pulling the car over).
I am slightly more accepting of limbo today. I feel less urgency. I feel like I got more from my W than "I need time and space." I have a healthy dose of skepticism mixed in, but I can accept that today she is not ready to dive deep.
Even if my W and I can get over this first hurdle, there are other issues that would need to be addressed. It's a long road ahead either way.
Financially it is easy to get triggered. But quite honestly I think it's best for everyone involved to have a clear picture of the financial implications either way. So I am okay with that piece.
