Hoosjim's back... and maybe his WW, too (?)

[hoosjim]

Jim, did you see my response? I think maybe you missed it after Sandi's. I wouldn't let this fester. It clearly bugs the crap out of you and that is reason enough for you to confront her about it.

Actually, i had missed it, thanks.

I wasn't ready to confront her about this yet. Still might not be. Point I'm at now the more i think about it the madder i get and i need to cool off a bit... I want to be cool and fully in control of my emotions when i do this, and right now there's a good chance i won't be.

The fact she did this shows that either a) I can't trust her because she still has a wayward mindset and/or is just plain willing to lie to me or do things she knows are contrary to the best interests of our MR or b) that she herself doesn't trust the MR or isn't "all-in" on it enough to put it FIRST and come to me to discuss these types of situations (and like I said, at the place we were, had she just told me she was going, Id've simply said "cool... bring me back some wings to warm up tomorrow when i get home."

It could also be evidence that she is/was up to something worse, though i think that is the least likely possibility (though certainly not IM-possible given the dynamic.

This is just really frikking disturbing. That bar is a local bar with a local/regular clientelle. We have run into regulars from that place when we were out (or, rather, SHE has with me and said "Oh, I saw so-and-so from the bar... they're here to support their entrant in the karaoke contest... Come to think of it she talked to that acquaintance while i was at the bathroom and never made a move to go over with me and introduce.) See, the thing is, after I stopped going there, she was there FREQUENTLY with OM and her bff... and it is a small bar with a regular clientelle. They KNEW she was the wife of a former friend of OM's (me), and i was friendly with a few people at that bar as well. I just didn't feel like i wanted to go back ever again knowing that a number of people there knew that D-head OM was stealing my W. For her to go back there, now, without me, just seems really weird. The thought of her hanging out there, SECRETLY, and partying and having a good time just really, really burns me. Can't imagine the low regard she must actually have for our relationship to have done that.

She knows something's up, BTW. Has asked me several times, now "what's the matter", to which I've said "look, I've got some things on my mind and I just need some space right now." She even came BACK from work this morning, claiming she took the wrong car-- one the kids needed-- by mistake, and could I "drive her to work instead of taking the Metro". (she's really sharp this way and would never do that inadvertently, especially for something concerning the kids) Whatever, i was pretty quiet in the car despite numerous "whatcha thinkin' bout"s. She's made several physical advances which i have rebuffed. I keep thinking maybe she'll fess up on her own, which to me would be significant, but don't think it's gonna happen. Starting to calm down a little, so perhaps I'll bring it up tonight. Otherwise It'll probably have to wait until after family vacay this weekend.