Daily rollercoaster of emotions

[Nyla79]

It’s been a while since I posted. I’ve been busy with friends visiting and my husband actually moving home!!!
Last time I posted he had told me that he was having a hard time ending the relationship with the OW. He ended it 5 days after and moved back home. The OW has been trying to text him and call him, but he’s mostly ignored her. The apartment they were living in is in his name, so he still has to make sure she leaves in the end of the month or pays for next months rent. I’m eagerly waiting for all of that to be done with, so he doesn’t have to be in touch with her anymore. I’m suspecting she will move back to Germany.


Where should I start with what’s been going on at home? Everything seems so weirdly normal and I have to say wonderful. We have gotten really close, really fast. So far I have let him do most of the talking, it seems like he has a real need to tell me about what’s been going on in his mind.

The common thing he says is that he just woke up one day and thought to himself what is he doing? And what has he done? He says that he felt like he was in a fog or a dream and was not steering at all. He doesn’t remember many details from the time he was with her.

He says he tried to find faults in me and blamed me for everything that he was unhappy with in his life and now he realizes that the problem is not in me but in him and his head. He says he doesn’t know why he ever started the affair and now that he has a clear head, he can’t understand why he left us for her. He is very sorry, tired and at times sad.
He seems annoyed about the OW and is ready to leave her behind.

I’m happy he’s home. I’m still wary even though he has canceled the divorce and assures me every day that he’s here to stay. I still get my insecure moments and let my mind wander to the spring and how much he hurt me. We haven’t talked about it yet, I don’t think he’s ready to hear about it and I’m not ready to talk about it either.

So overall so far so good. I still don’t know if this has been a MLC or just plain WAS in limerence, but as long as things are going as they are, I don’t care. He’s home, I’m somewhat happy (just afraid) and I think we will be able to fix this.