Divorce/WAW due to my infidelity Part 2

[crdcheck]

4. Yep, it gets frosty. Do you have any plans to meet or talk once she moves out, if only to share how D3 is doing?

Not yet. Trying to take things day by day and that seems like a couple of weeks out. Some books seem to say that the interactions forced by having children in the mix give opportunity to R. I see that, but I also see her seeking info that confirms her beliefs (e.g. if she's asking about who I'm hanging out with).

5. You can't avoid the FIL chill. Fake it 'til you make it... do the friendly neighbor thing. You'll have another 15 years+ of periodic interactions with the IL's - birthdays, graduations, etc.

Yep, just disappointing. I really laid myself out to him (and my MIL), the good, the bad, the ugly. No excuses, no begging. They'd said that they feel like I'm a son. All I wanted from them was to take a balanced view, help us to navigate our relationship, whatever form it would be. I'm starting to see some of my W in my FIL - claims to be above everything but is clearly as in the mud as anyone else. Part of me wants to say that, if he can't play nice then he's not welcome at events I'm hosting. I'm not asking to be friends but he's essentially refusing to acknowledge my existence then he's not welcome in my home.

Finally... DB'ing absolutely plays into the WAW narrative. But so does not DB'ing. Anything you do or don't do will play into the narrative. A saying I like for this situation is "You're d@mned if you do, d@mned if you don't, so do what you want."

I know, you are right. I'd say that I'm looking for confirmation. I read on other threads about WAWs who clearly have regrets but are too proud to say it, to want to work on R. I want to make sure that I'm keeping the "path paved" to quote someone.

With GAL, I think at first it feels completely forced or faked. After awhile hopefully you settle into the things you really like to do, the ones that connect you with your inner vitality and make you feel whole.

Honestly, I'm straight up exhausted. Stress from D, stress from figuring out what is right for D3 vs. what feels fair (trying to keep an eye on my bias), 7+ open houses per weekend, negotiating on one house, trying to clear out all of the inspection items from the current house, figuring out what replacement items I need to buy (where's the kitchen scale?), making sure that my plans don't impact D3 (until custody plan in place we are organizing on an hour by hour basis), determining what to share with whom (don't want to whine non-stop), dealing with a new project at work, and not sleeping well (waking up stuck thinking about W). Honestly, I just want to come home a night or two, heat up a pizza, and watch some TV. I'm meeting up with people 7 days/week and it takes a lot out of me (I'm a natural introvert).

Another question re: D3 - if she wants something that I don't, how do I decide what to do? For example, as someone pointed out earlier, I am going to miss our time as a family more than my time w/ W, and if D3 wants all of us to go to the pool together part of me likes the idea and wants to do what D3 wants. Another part of me sees this as cake eating for my W, that she shouldn't get the benefits of an H unless she is being a W. Where do I draw the line?