First let me say that you have a nasty list of R issues there, in your case your GF isn't leaving because she's going through something, she's leaving because it was a crappy relationship. That makes it much tougher to get her back.
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[*]Subconsciously because of the baggage I was carrying from my previous relationship I was not committing fully for fear of getting hurt again.
[*]We have been conflict avoiders so could not resolve our issues well
[*]medical and other issues inhibited sex( we didn't talk this through )
[*]We stopped trying
I was drinking too much
These are all absolute relationship killers. Now OM has stepped into the picture treating her like you probably did early on and making her feel important and needed again. How do you combat that? By owning your issues and working on them. Stop the drinking. Lose weight if you need to. Seek out counseling to help you deal with your previous baggage. Step up your wardrobe. Clean up your life in every way possible. With time the "newness" of OM will probably wear off and when it does maybe she'll look at the new and improved you and want to give it a shot again. But even if she doesn't you will have regained your confidence and self-worth and will be ready to take on a newer, more healthy R.
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I've worked hard on myself and she has noticed. Now for the signs that I see as positive. What do you experts( especially the women ) think about these:-
[*]I wrote her a poem that explored her mind quite deeply and she got very angry [*]I apologised for upsetting her, we discussed it and she forgave me( she never disputed the content ) [*]After the anger she wrote down her feelings in a notebook. She showed it to me and it was a list of the things I didn't do that he did.
You see these as positives? Why? No more poems, love notes, heartfelt texts, letters, etc. She's done and nothing you do along those lines will make a difference (as you can clearly see from her above reaction). The best thing you can do right now is TIME and SPACE. Leave her alone. It's what she wants.
