OM Backed Out

[tadpole1025]

Hey DnJ. Thanks for the response.

Fearing a relationship: Being with someone? Caring for someone? Having someone care about you? Be dependent on you? You be dependant on them? Making concessions and compromises? Living up to a standard you don’t know you can reach? Losing - what?

I think just fear of being hurt. All of it. I'm an animal lover, but won't even have a pet because I don't want to hurt watching it get old and eventually dying. Maybe I get too attached? A couple of years ago, I got two little rats that I didn't even really want, but fell in love with them and got super attached. It hurt like H3ll when they passed. When I was about 10, our family dog died. It was a dog that had been in the family since before I was born. I cried for days. My stepdad called me all kinds of names for being upset about it. "Be a man. She was just a dog" he would say. Obviously, my "issues" go much deeper than the garbage XW pulled.

Fear of not seeing grandson: How? Is it their relationship breaking up? Is it XW, Grandma, getting more involved?

No, but I worry about getting attached and then their relationship going sour or staying together, but moving away. Her family lives in a different state. I know that I shouldn't worry about these things, but I do.

Follow until you find that hurt. Fear of not seeing you grandson has deeper roots, for example.

Yep. I was basically raised by my grandmother for the most part. (Long story.) When I was 6, my parents took me and moved to Germany. (My stepdad was military and we moved a lot.). But....I ALWAYS wanted to be in Phoenix with my grandmother. I was closer to her than my parents, step parents, everybody. I always felt like I was "taken away" and shoved from house to house.

The kids, I am becoming less and less of their provider, they are much less dependent on me - exactly what a parent should hope to happen. So yes I am second choice, to funner times, to their significant other, to jobs, to school, to friends, etc. That is great! That view took a bit to find.

I see your point. I'm working on this.

Again, thanks for the response. I have to run for now. I'm at work and things just hit the fan. Haha!

Peace.

Tad