Whoops I botched the name, meant to be "sorting" and not "sorted".
Journal
So much going on right now that this post will only touch on a few topics.
On the GAL front, I went to a men's group this morning. I'm going to stick with it for awhile. I might post more later. For now I'll say they seem very aligned with DB and NGS principles, but obviously there are people going there for all different kinds of reasons. I made sure to speak up, and ended up with a weeklong commitment that the group is going to hold me accountable to (in this case, not getting baited into text message battles with my W). I was almost immediately tested later today and I have to say that extra little commitment helped me gain a little extra resolve. It's not unlike this forum, with the vets holding us relative noobs accountable with 2x4s.
Then I got a haircut, lunch, went to the gym, video-chatted my kids, cooked myself dinner (a rarity!), went for a walk out by the beautiful lake by my house, sat on a bench there and did a 10 minute silent meditation. My body is worn out, and I'm headed out at 6am to go surfing with a buddy.
On the emotional front, I've been posting a lot recently about my anger and frustration over the child safety issue. I recognize this is part of a process and will take some time. These are confusing emotions for me. Until a couple months ago I think I had the classic NG response to anger - I either suppressed it, or let it drive me to react. Is my anger over the child safety issue? Or is it anger over being jilted? Am I angry about the upheaval in my life? Am I angry on behalf of my kids?
I know that I'm not going to figure it out by using my brain. I've done that for 40 years and gotten nowhere. Thanks brain.
The emotions are unsettling, but they are there. I need to sit and let them settle. However long it takes. Just sit and be with them. Take advantage of IC, meditation, and my alone time when not with the kids.
