Yesterday was the first time I saw her in a little over a week because we decided to go get the divorce papers notarized a few weeks back on that day. So its official, turned it and in roughly 2 months I will be officially considered single. We met at a local shop to get the papers done but I am surprised that when I saw her, I looked at her differently - like how disgusted I was with her behavior and the woman I married was no longer present but at the same time I felt the love I still have for her, its hard to describe. It's a bunch of mixed emotions that I feel inside. I honestly don't know if I was scared of losing her, scared to feel lonely, etc - she was my best friend, there for me through my toughest time and vice versa. I would like to think that detachment was going well but I am not going to lie - my mind wonders off a lot of time to think what she is doing, why she did this, how could she do this and it hurts. We don't text personally at all, if any, its business.
As for my daughter and myself. We been spending much more time together, I still have to tell her get off your phone. Kids these days are stuck to their tablets or phone, haha. Currently we are going to have her weekly, but is it wrong of me to not want her to go with my WW because I don't want my D to be around the other guy currently. Yesterday when we met, we were cordial but I told her, "I don't know what is going on with you but whatever respect left you have for our Daughter and myself, don't be affectionate to the OM in front of her." She said she okay, I promise - but she lied so many times already that I don't know what to believe. I can honestly say besides what she has done to me, she is still a good mother and takes good care of our D.
I am still hanging out with friends more than usual, helps out so much by just having their support. They always call or text to check up on my wellbeing and try to keep me positive.
Anyways, I just mainly wanted to give an update that the papers were finally filed as of 8/9/2019.
Thanks everyone. Hope you all have better days ahead.
