I understand what you mean about not looking at any people the same way again. This does change your world view.
I never thought I'd understand this feeling of betrayal, but I do. But I also see people so much more completely now. For example, I have this great coworker. She's awesome. And she has been divorced twice, and is now marrying the love of her life (her words). I don't know the details of her first two marriages, but I get the sense that at least one of them was not healthy. I don't know about the other. But the absolute glow she has now that she has found her current relationship is amazing. It literally feeds all of us in the office because it's not fake and it's not "in your face". It's just someone who found their path and we are all so happy for her.
This, in turn, is feeding all of us who work with her.
But I don't think for one second her happiness now isn't still full of a little bit of the pain she endured in her previous marriages. She still carries the authenticity of them with her, and they made her that much more grateful for what she has worked for and has now.
My intent isn't to make this an "it gets better" kind of post, because that's not what I'm trying to say. What I'm trying to say is that I don't know that other people see her past as clearly as I do - because her past looks a lot like my current. And I see her as this complete person who has felt the highest love and the deepest pain. And for ME to witness this is a n amazing experience, because before I think I would have been glib about her happiness. I would have dismissed it. But I think we have connected in part because she feels "seen" for her happiness. I see her as a whole person, not just some coworker.
My point then, I suppose, is that the changing world-view might not be a terrible thing. I understand the loss of innocence. But we do gain something to balance that side of the coin. Just my thoughts for the evening.
