Not sure what to do after ILYBNILWY

[Ready2Change]

Sandi2 is very wise. Read her words above again multiple times and get everything she says burned into your mind.


I was bomb dropped 10 years ago. I was with my wife for 18 years. I have been on these boards for a long time.

Here is what I believe:


"Set her free" to get her back. Set her free to get her back. Set her free to get her back.


Most newbies take to long to do this. She is wayyyyyy ahead of you. You need to get ahead of her. She is very predictable. Spend enough time reading here and you should be able to predict everything she will do and have a plan on how to respond appropriately.


"I do not want to be with a woman who does not want to be with me"

I am not saying you do this immediately but you should quickly get to a point where you understand why I am recommending this:

H:"W, we need to talk"
W:"OK"
H:"W, I have thought about what you said the other day, and I agree. This is not working for me either. I think it is best that you start looking for a place to live."


#1) You tell her you listened to her.
#2) By agreeing, you validate how she feels.
#3) You let her know that you understand it is not working for her
#4) You let her know that it is not working for you.
#5) You as the man are leading. No stuck in limbo.
#6) She wants out, you are not standing in the way.
#7) she wants out, she moves out.
#8) you are creating distance for her to pursue you