Separated and sorting through the mess

[LB55]

Thanks IW and LB55.

Limbo certainly stinks.

But the parts I don't enjoy are awful: missing my kids. the financial strain. And maybe the one that is hardest to admit here: not feeling loved. On that last one I have made huge progress, but trying to "work things out" with somebody who feels no love for me is really really taxing. It is a fundamental human psychological need to feel loved. That is what we all struggle with.

Yes this is certainly a difficult thing to deal with. If you weren't in limbo, and finished your D, which of these things would change? Which of them can you change?

I realized the only reason i wanted to push it was to try and get a reaction from her to wake her up. I'm not ready to just go push it through because i still believe we can have MR2.0. She has literally done nothing to move forward with D. I struggle with the concept of just pushing it through, probably because it isn't what I want.

LB - What I am struggling with is that, more often than not, lately I feel like D is what I want.

I question myself though: Is this just my hurt feelings lashing out?

I am going to remind you that today's feelings won't be tomorrow's feelings for a while yet. By your timeline I am 6 months ahead of you. 4 Months ago I had my lawyer all geared up to just push it through. Then a couple days later I decided to back off. Waste of time and money until I am absolutely ready to do that.

I was and still am quite hurt; and I am quite certain that my desire to push the D through was me lashing out and trying to get her to see that I am willing to do just what she wants. Like in a 'I told you and look what you made happen' kind of a way. Not the best way to handle it. So until you know for sure and are not willing to just stop and change your mind if she said 'hey lets have dinner and talk', exist in limbo, work on yourself, make your kid days the best they can be, and take the time to figure out what you want.