I am much more clear-headed today now thanks to this forum. I need to stop going to MC with any expectations for now. That may mean stopping going altogether. Either way, my expectations were bringing me down.
There are parts of this limbo I enjoy. I am working out like a madman, playing basketball, I built a kitchen table, I meditate, I spend more time after work with friends.
But the parts I don't enjoy are awful: missing my kids. the financial strain. And maybe the one that is hardest to admit here: not feeling loved. On that last one I have made huge progress, but trying to "work things out" with somebody who feels no love for me is really really taxing. It is a fundamental human psychological need to feel loved. That is what we all struggle with.
Originally Posted by LB55
I realized the only reason i wanted to push it was to try and get a reaction from her to wake her up. I'm not ready to just go push it through because i still believe we can have MR2.0. She has literally done nothing to move forward with D. I struggle with the concept of just pushing it through, probably because it isn't what I want.
LB - What I am struggling with is that, more often than not, lately I feel like D is what I want.
I question myself though: Is this just my hurt feelings lashing out?
