Sorry you are here but we will be able to help you with your situation.
It's very important that you print out and implement Sandi's rules until you get the hang of it. Everything you feel is the right thing to do is probably not. Telling her parents and becoming merrymaid are no nos. Do your share of the house work but that's it. Listen and validate and cut those convos short. Sorry I have to run then go and do something. You can't connect with a woman who has another man on her mind.
Think of your W is a cat. The more you try to hold onto a cat the more it wants to get away from you. The cat will comeback when it's curious. How can you become curious to the cat?
This is probably the hardest thing you will ever do and the key to it all is you have to be patient and limit your mistakes. Do not apply any pressure and know that this will likely take many months or more than likely years to play out.
