It is not just about having talks with W outside MC but about you not thinking about it also. As long as expecting W to work towards R in MC is a goal, detaching will be difficult.
MLCxH - Thank you. You (and the others responding) are right.
You are most welcome. Don't be too hard on yourself . Most of us have all been (or are) in this situation and there is a big difference in the difficulty between knowing what is the right thing to do and actually doing it given the emotions involved
Originally Posted by unchien
I have a question though: The advice is "only go to MC if you are working on the MR". What is the reason for this advice?
The other vets can probably answer this better because my thoughts are similar to yours on this. My ex-W did not want to do MC but if she had asked I would have gone. The caveat is that I would have wanted to see some benefit from it. In your case you had mentioned it helped with communication which was probably a good reason to do it. The concern I have seen in your sitch is that you have expectations from your wife in MC. You need to understand that you have no control over her actions and trying to set expectations will only drive you crazy emotionally. Being in MC and not expecting to work on the MR is again difficult to implement which puts you in a catch 22 situation
Originally Posted by unchien
My frustration is in the waffling. I feel like there are 3 paths: D, MR 2.0, and continued S/Limbo. The absolute worst is the last one. The other 2 I know I can deal with. I just want to get moving on with life sometimes.
D - the decision is final and you move on but clearly you are not at the point where you want to file and your W does not seem to be in a rush to either.
MR2.0 - this is not a path now. At least till your W decides it is a path
continued S/limbo: Since you are not planning to file for D, this is really your only option right? Yes, it [censored] but you can also look at it as a gift of time.
