IMO, the conversation about her infidelity will be a difficult one no matter how you approach it. She doesn't know that you know all the details that you do. Once she finds out, she will take it extremely hard. I don't know what her response will be, but I'm 100% sure It won't be what you expect. Especially if she believes you only know certain things.
If you get to Rville and her infidelity is disclosed, she might feel attacked. It's my advice to disclose before she goes and let it be her choice to still go to Rville. are not go.
You are still to attached you don't want to disclose because you want to get her to Rville, to me that is a really selfish statement and it's all about you. Your W has free choice, and going to Rville needs to be her CHOICE and not your manipulation. Because, that's how she will feel if you go there and bring up OM without giving her a chance to decide on her own if she want to go under the condition that she is an adulterous. Most Rville has a little bit of religious aspect to it and bringing her there, disclosing what you know and then opening up about your feelings, will feel like a mountain coming down on top of her.
You are still trying to control your sitch. You need to let go and allow her to come to you from a place of honesty and transparency. Right now, you and her have too much under the rug and in the closet.
Too me your mindset is not set up in the right way. You are way too worried about losing her. You keep saying, "If I tell her what I know, it will push her away". Guess what she is already gone. You need to change you mindset to be, "In order to have a chance of getting my W back and having a happy M, I must command respect". That means you must tell her what you know, lay it all out and move forward. Be a man that can walk in truth and hold people accountable when they have wronged you. Right now you are not that man.
Stop thinking about losing your wife, because all your actions have been in prevention of losing her. And start thinking about gaining respect, and that will put you in a place and have you acting in a way that gives you the best chance of winning your W back.
Joe
M:37 W:37 T:11 M:10 S17, S13, S10, S4 BD:06/28/17 OM confirmed 07/20/17 Recon the M 10/29/17 Working hard:2gether
Onward and forward
This process is not a sprint it's a marathon! Patience, Patience, Patience.
