It feels good to be detached. I have been so focused on me. I have started a new exercise program, enrolled in college to finish my degree, and got some help to take things off of my plate (weekly meal delivery service & cleaning 2x/ mth). It's nice to have some time back to myself. I have been getting up early to exercise at 0400 and I haven't been able to do so in the past 2 years... I had no drive to exercise.
I read somewhere that when you are left that it takes about 2 years to feel normal. I think it's true. I haven't felt like myself for a long time and the things I am doing now are more like the old me, but with a lot of growth and courage.
My H would never approve of any help with cleaning (thought it was me being lazy). I'm away from my house for about 12+ hrs/day and I'd prefer to spend any time I have with my kids, instead of scrubbing the bathroom... It's nice to make that choice without fear of judgement.
The meals are nice too because the shopping part is already done. My S and I like to cook a lot, he really takes after his Dad. Last night we made a meal together and it was really nice. He was so proud of himself.
H has been gone for 9 days and has reached out to the children twice. Unfortunately only after I prompted him to do so. All I am doing is loving on my kids, because they don't deserve to be treated like that.
