Thank you for responding. I guess I know you’re right. And you make a very good point about what I thought was me being detached. I was angry and I felt stronger for a while there, but I was clearly not detached and was still holding the rope. And I still am. I do wonder why after a whole year of not filing he finally did only after I pushed him to.... And now he is cycling through treating me like dirt and gaslighting me to being strangely warm and almost affectionate at times. And I don’t feel strong right now. Not at all. I should be DBing again. So that I will get where I need to be emotionally and stop focusing on him. Even if just for my own sake, how should I act toward him? My DBing brain tells me I need to be lovingly detached. My natural default at this point is cold and distant. I feel lost, like I’m right back at the beginning and I don’t know what to do.
