SteveS...there is much to getting through this that's counter intuitive to what you think you should be doing. One of the vets on here "Sandi2" has the following on her signature: "It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!" From your posts it sounds to me like you are coming around on getting into alignment with that idea.
I'd suggest taking a look at scarcity vs abundance mindset. We all get here and think we'll never find another like our WAW or a better love or any of the other limiting/scarcity type feelings that do us no good. If you can get into the abundance mindset and truly believe in it, I think you'll find it will help you to manage how you go about your dealing with your WAW. Abundance will naturally help you to relax, drop the rope and allow you to focus on you and your life. You are doing work on yourself and that's going to pay off for you down the road no matter what happens.
-B
That's great advice, thank you. One of the things that my IC and I talk about is that the scarcity mindset is very common amongst two groups: late bloomers that didn't grow comfortable into who they are until later in life, and corporate-minded types who are familiar with thinking in terms of business and economics. I happen to both.
Now pile that on to the abandonment issues and at times my head can be a pretty toxic stew. But I'm not going to beat myself up: I'm aware of it, I'm actively working on it, and it doesn't mean I'm flawed, it means I'm human and a work in progress like everyone else. That's a lot more than I could have said six months ago.
My last relationship before I met WAW, we were together for three years. Lived together, had a lot of fun, and when we broke up, I was devastated and in a tough space mentally for a few months. I didn't die though, eventually I found peace with it and a few months after that, I met WAW, and everything changed. I only attracted WAW because I had dropped the rope of my old relationship, and was attractive, confident, and independent.
Now, it's true that I've never loved someone as much as WAW. Apples to oranges, sure, to some degree. But the lesson is the same. If that's the way it happens, in time I will find someone else - but only after I am healed and radiating confidence.
