I am definitely trying to focus on bettering myself. I know it's only day one of a very long road, but I'm trying to stay positive. I've reached out to some old friends, and we are planning on getting together soon. I'm also trying to keep myself crazy busy. I have been going through exactly the same things you listed, wondering how I can show her I'm a worthy person. I know that one of my current problems is I allowed a lot of my self-esteem to be dictated by how she treated me. I know that's something I definitely have to take back and own.
I've begun digging through all the posts Cadet shared, and they're really helpful. It's also making me feel better knowing that others have gone through similar situations, and I'm not totally crazy
Tonight my main struggle is not thinking about what she's doing, or who she's with. The urge to call is strong, but I'm really trying to dedicate myself to going dark. What seems to be helping is I keep setting the timer on my phone for an hour, and stay busy until it goes off, and then switch activities.
Thanks all for your support and kind words. It REALLY is helpful knowing there is a good group of support out there.
